the olympics vs the fledgling sport of clock watching.
Actually i must say it's been a while since i was last interested in sport. south sydney are going crap and i'm not gonna say anything about that, or in defence of the bombers. actually i was told that hirdy's dad no longer bothers talking to him! hows that!
i was up for lots of the tour de france and would have posted about that but when bauke mollima crashed out of contention due to being not good enough and not being on a team with a 20 million euro budget i lost any desire to comment on what was going on anyway. it would have been too rude and or too depressing. i know you can't see tear smudges on a blog spot but rest assured there would have been big mobs.
now the olympics are here and every one is a sports fan all over again. my knowledge of artistic gymnastics has become manifold again and i shoot like Diana ( the roman godess not the phantoms wife... though she could probably shoot pretty good as well). though i'm not a great diver i sure as hell can tell when divers are shit or not. we all discover our love of sports we have no real interest in for about 1400 days between olympics. haven't we been having fun with the disaster that is brazillian venue creation. it's almost as shit as their rain forrest preservation policy!
but we haven't just been bagging out the brazillian's inability to build stuff that doesn't catch fire or flood or have shit floating on the surface.we have been delighting in the slow and almost complete banning of the russian team for being on the gear! it's been such fun!! the only problem i have noticed with this is there is no concern about russian fashion. i was watching the equestrian dudes and saw one of the ugliest sights i have ever seen. the russian dressage riders costume (thats all i can call it). simply aweful. quite simply the ban didn't go far enough.
is mack horton going to apologise for his ditzy assertion that a convicted drug cheat might still be on the juice. i bloody well hope not, but seeing as he won the 400 free it's all ok anyway. hang on ... should we be checking young mack if he can beat sun yang? it's complicated i guess.
but thats not what i'm interrested in blogging about today.
today it's all about clock watching.
not the sort you do at the end of a boring days work in the public service or any of the myriad boring jobs that have clocks somewhere in your vision.
we are talking about the noble sport of bedside digital display clock watching!
here's how it works but be warned, if you are a recovering insomniac this is not for you. you will fall off the pillow for sure!
the numbers on a digital clock are special, they are red and the 5 and the 2 are mirrors of each other. this is what caught my attention first.
ok sometimes when the family are not home i stay up late writing poetry or short stories and stuff. true god, i'm too lazy to go out to the lounge room and watch tv. so one morning it's 2.15 and i'm still a bit drunk or something like that and i see the clock and i think to myself maaaaaan... that's so cool!!
HOOK LINE AND SINKER I'M A GONER!!
try as i might i cant help but see some sort of significance to almost every freaking 3 or 4 digit time my clock can throw at me. it starts with simple combinations like 12.34, sweeeeet! then you move to 1.23, 2.34, 3.45 and 4.56!
5.01 is not only too early to get up (unless you are setting up one of darwins famous markets) but it is brian lara's highest ever score in test cricket. there are far too many of these significant numbers in the realm of sports to be reckoned with!!
a 5 next to a 2 looks like a wine glass (it DOES) and if there is a 1 after it i can be construed as an exclamation mark! resist going for a wine if you are awake and clock watching at 5.21 if you can... i dare you though it doesn't count in the afternoon because unless you are a teatotaller you were probably headed for one anyway.
1.11, 2.22 etc are attractive in a simplistic and neat way but i often wondered why 3.33 always made me crave a cheese sandwich. it's obvious when you think hard about it, 333 brand sandwich pickles!!
lets move into the mathematical side of this fledgling sport.
2.36 is really 2x3=6. 1.23 is 1+2=3. 6.32 is 6 divided by 3=2. you can see the the problem. i thought i was safe with 12.39 till i saw (1+2) x 3=9.
DOOMED I BE !!
don't get me started on cars and engine sizes! 5.04 one of the iconic peaugot line. 3.51, the mighty ford V8 engine size that took the phase 3 gtho to victory in the 1971 bathurst 500 (miles that is, coz it was 500 miles back then i proclain proudly). for holden fans there is 3.08 and 2.53 whick was a well balanced square bore V8. mazda has 3.23 a danger zone. look to be homest it's aquagmire of car brands, models and engine sizes!!
if you have foolishly set your clock to 24 hour mode you will have to beware the 1910 fruitgum company! 100 hundred percent by sonic youth cheers me up but 10/10 by paolo nutini doesn't. you can see the spiral i have entered into and i hope you will fund my recovery!
this sport is endless and can be played alone or adverserially and has no set point scoring system as it was developed for solo play. i wish you well with what may become an obsessive compulsive spiral into the pits of hell. all i can say is it's your choice. throw out your bedside clock to be safe is probably the best bet.
please feel free to comment on my fragile mental state and pray for my hell destined aethiest soul.
BUT IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR YOU ARE MOST LIKELY RIDING IN A HAND CART DESTINED FOR YOUR OWN PRIVATE HELL!!
my suggestion? sell the house and develop a low level casino gambling habit and hope they dont have any digital bedside clocks in the casino of your choice!
cheers from fred and may you have a sporting chance.
Actually i must say it's been a while since i was last interested in sport. south sydney are going crap and i'm not gonna say anything about that, or in defence of the bombers. actually i was told that hirdy's dad no longer bothers talking to him! hows that!
i was up for lots of the tour de france and would have posted about that but when bauke mollima crashed out of contention due to being not good enough and not being on a team with a 20 million euro budget i lost any desire to comment on what was going on anyway. it would have been too rude and or too depressing. i know you can't see tear smudges on a blog spot but rest assured there would have been big mobs.
now the olympics are here and every one is a sports fan all over again. my knowledge of artistic gymnastics has become manifold again and i shoot like Diana ( the roman godess not the phantoms wife... though she could probably shoot pretty good as well). though i'm not a great diver i sure as hell can tell when divers are shit or not. we all discover our love of sports we have no real interest in for about 1400 days between olympics. haven't we been having fun with the disaster that is brazillian venue creation. it's almost as shit as their rain forrest preservation policy!
but we haven't just been bagging out the brazillian's inability to build stuff that doesn't catch fire or flood or have shit floating on the surface.we have been delighting in the slow and almost complete banning of the russian team for being on the gear! it's been such fun!! the only problem i have noticed with this is there is no concern about russian fashion. i was watching the equestrian dudes and saw one of the ugliest sights i have ever seen. the russian dressage riders costume (thats all i can call it). simply aweful. quite simply the ban didn't go far enough.
is mack horton going to apologise for his ditzy assertion that a convicted drug cheat might still be on the juice. i bloody well hope not, but seeing as he won the 400 free it's all ok anyway. hang on ... should we be checking young mack if he can beat sun yang? it's complicated i guess.
but thats not what i'm interrested in blogging about today.
today it's all about clock watching.
not the sort you do at the end of a boring days work in the public service or any of the myriad boring jobs that have clocks somewhere in your vision.
we are talking about the noble sport of bedside digital display clock watching!
here's how it works but be warned, if you are a recovering insomniac this is not for you. you will fall off the pillow for sure!
the numbers on a digital clock are special, they are red and the 5 and the 2 are mirrors of each other. this is what caught my attention first.
ok sometimes when the family are not home i stay up late writing poetry or short stories and stuff. true god, i'm too lazy to go out to the lounge room and watch tv. so one morning it's 2.15 and i'm still a bit drunk or something like that and i see the clock and i think to myself maaaaaan... that's so cool!!
HOOK LINE AND SINKER I'M A GONER!!
try as i might i cant help but see some sort of significance to almost every freaking 3 or 4 digit time my clock can throw at me. it starts with simple combinations like 12.34, sweeeeet! then you move to 1.23, 2.34, 3.45 and 4.56!
5.01 is not only too early to get up (unless you are setting up one of darwins famous markets) but it is brian lara's highest ever score in test cricket. there are far too many of these significant numbers in the realm of sports to be reckoned with!!
a 5 next to a 2 looks like a wine glass (it DOES) and if there is a 1 after it i can be construed as an exclamation mark! resist going for a wine if you are awake and clock watching at 5.21 if you can... i dare you though it doesn't count in the afternoon because unless you are a teatotaller you were probably headed for one anyway.
1.11, 2.22 etc are attractive in a simplistic and neat way but i often wondered why 3.33 always made me crave a cheese sandwich. it's obvious when you think hard about it, 333 brand sandwich pickles!!
lets move into the mathematical side of this fledgling sport.
2.36 is really 2x3=6. 1.23 is 1+2=3. 6.32 is 6 divided by 3=2. you can see the the problem. i thought i was safe with 12.39 till i saw (1+2) x 3=9.
DOOMED I BE !!
don't get me started on cars and engine sizes! 5.04 one of the iconic peaugot line. 3.51, the mighty ford V8 engine size that took the phase 3 gtho to victory in the 1971 bathurst 500 (miles that is, coz it was 500 miles back then i proclain proudly). for holden fans there is 3.08 and 2.53 whick was a well balanced square bore V8. mazda has 3.23 a danger zone. look to be homest it's aquagmire of car brands, models and engine sizes!!
if you have foolishly set your clock to 24 hour mode you will have to beware the 1910 fruitgum company! 100 hundred percent by sonic youth cheers me up but 10/10 by paolo nutini doesn't. you can see the spiral i have entered into and i hope you will fund my recovery!
this sport is endless and can be played alone or adverserially and has no set point scoring system as it was developed for solo play. i wish you well with what may become an obsessive compulsive spiral into the pits of hell. all i can say is it's your choice. throw out your bedside clock to be safe is probably the best bet.
please feel free to comment on my fragile mental state and pray for my hell destined aethiest soul.
BUT IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR YOU ARE MOST LIKELY RIDING IN A HAND CART DESTINED FOR YOUR OWN PRIVATE HELL!!
my suggestion? sell the house and develop a low level casino gambling habit and hope they dont have any digital bedside clocks in the casino of your choice!
cheers from fred and may you have a sporting chance.
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